16.07.10

Day 19

As you can probably see from today's photos, yesterday was not a good day.  I probably should have just stayed in bed, but someone tells me that days like this build character.  After yesterday, I should have a lot of it.

Steve and I headed downtown around 5 and Steve offered to run the light-meter.  I'm a bit of a control freak, and letting someone else have my light-meter physically hurts.  Honestly!  My chest tightens up at the thought of giving someone my things and trusting them to do it properly.

It's probably because I'm such a mouse when it comes to managing people, that I can't give them clear instructions and when they mess up, I just kinda brush it off even though I'm boiling inside.  "Aw shucks, don't worry that you just crashed my car because you were having sex while driving.  I never told you not to do that so really, it's my fault, not yours!"  The chest-tightening was a good indicator that I need to let go a little bit since I'm married to the guy now, so I handed Steve my light-meter (along with a look that wilted his hair).

It was going great and I was getting (what I thought were) some great shots.  We found the most amazing stuff in Inglewood- octagonal tile floors from the 1920's, shiny black bicycles, an old building named "Seabloom".  I was so excited!  Life could not have been better for those few moments.

Then I found out Steve had been metering at the wrong ISO for almost half a roll.  As in, all my photos were going to be totally black.  Crap.  Oh well.  He took me for dinner, fed me pasta and coffee and all was (mostly) forgiven.

We headed out west again, but since I had dragged my feet leaving town, we were going to get to Cochrane just at the tail end of sunset.  Thank goodness for iPhone maps, because mine showed us a side road that was closer and overlooked the mountains.  I never expected it to be as incredible as it was.  This windy, gravel road opened up to a beautiful little valley.  I thought that my luck was turning.  It was gorgeous!  Steve metered again and I took a polaroid for a test shot.

It takes a few minutes to develop a polaroid, and the sun was setting really fast, so I thought I was safe to shoot a few negatives.  Apparently I wasn't.  Again, it was metered wrong.  Steve thought that the 2s shown meant 1/2 second.  It doesn't.  Another half dozen frames down the toilet.  Then I needed to load a new pack of polaroid.

Remember that $33 pack of instant Fuji I was talking about last week?  Well, there's a band of paper you need to pull out before you can take any pictures.  It jammed.  And then it tore.  Then the tab you use to pull out the frame tore and jammed.  I had to open the back to get it out, tried another one and it jammed and tore, too, and this time I couldn't get to it.  I decided to wait until I got home to get it out in the dark and loaded my film back.  Only it didn't have any frames left, and I had forgotten to bring an extra roll of film.

"Oh well," I thought "I got some good shots today.  Tomorrow I'll send out the rolls I finished off tonight."  I got home to unload the film from my Hasselblad.  It was loaded backwards.  At this point, I was pretty pissed.  Then I decided to check the other back that I had loaded with film this afternoon.  Big surprise.  It was backwards, too.

"Eff it.  I'm going to bed."

Wish me better luck today :)

Love,
Hearts & Photos

UPDATE:  The more I look at that top picture, the more I like it.  What's not to love about chemical crusts?

UPDATE:  Ok, not every shot sucked and I feel bad for not giving you anything nice to look at today.  Here's one I really liked.  Double exposure!

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15.07.10

Day 18

Around 8:30 last night Steve decided that we should drive out west to take some pictures.  It had been cloudy all day, but late in the afternoon it cleared and the sun was going to be setting soon.  Summer sunsets are incredible- they have that amazing light that seems to coat everything in honey.  It almost makes you believe that if you stuck your tongue out and caught a bit of sunlight, it would taste sweet.  I love that they last for hours, although last night it really didn't last long enough.

When we headed out, Steve drove and I was supposed to keep my eye for for places to stop.  I think this was our first mistake.  No one should ever let me decide when to stop because we never will.  I have this weird character flaw where I cannot, for the life of me, bring myself to say "this is where we'll stop for {lunch | shopping | gas | pictures}".  There might be something life-altering right around the corner, and if I decide to stop early we'll miss it.  I couldn't live with myself!

This makes us absolutely miserable when we travel.  I drag us down street after street, starving, but refusing to stop for food anywhere.  That menu has too many options but the next doesn't have enough.  I don't want to have to wait for a table where it's busy, but worry that the slow places are slow for a reason.

Last night was not much different (just no food involved).  Every view was amazing and each scene perfectly lit.  I wanted to stop at every turn, but something better might be just a bit further down the road.

By the time we got into the mountains, the sun was just dropping behind.  I wish this was one of those "I had time for just one shot and it was the shot of a lifetime" posts but, unfortunately, it's not.  We were really and truly too late.

So I did what any rational human being would do- I blamed Steve.  He was driving, so he should have decided when to pull over.  And he should know that I can't make decisions like that!  Really, it was his fault for even asking me.  (I never said decision making was my only character flaw.)

We headed back towards the city in silence but after a few miles, Steve had enough of my pouting (which he knew would get worse if we didn't stop for a single photo) and pulled into the turnoff for a little historical chapel.  I didn't want to get out of the car and only did so begrudgingly, grumbling something about how stupid this was.  I hate to admit that he knows me this well, but I don't think I had even closed the car door before I had forgotten to be crabby.  Tantrum?  Who, me??

There still wasn't much light, but just enough to get a couple of frames.  Don't tell Steve I told you this, but I'm glad he was right.

Have a great day :)

Love,
Hearts & Photos

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12.07.10

Day 15

Today we're taking a break from our regularly scheduled polaroid programming to bring you film!  Yes!  Actual, developed negatives!  From a camera!!  I spent all of yesterday sitting on my behind, working on my portfolio.  It's been a while (cough*a year*cough) since I updated it, and I had a bunch of images that I had shot, scanned, and swept into the dusty corners of my computer, left to languish while I avoided editing them.

Normally, I would have left this project for a day that I was supposed to be doing actual work.  If I was supposed to do dishes or had an essay to write, you wouldn't have been able to drag me away from the computer.  But Sundays are my fun day.  Every Sunday, Steve and I head down to the flea market, go for coffee, walk around Kensington and point to houses we'd like to live in.  It's our thing, and it's a nice break to get out of the house.  And trust me, after working by myself all week, I need that break.

I'm not going to lie, working at home is great.  If I want to sleep until 10 and work until 3 am, I can do it.  I can make lattes all day without spending a fortune.  I get to hang out with my pets and have manic dance parties in my kitchen without coworkers wondering whether or not they should have put 911 on speed dial.  But working at home eight hours a day is isolating.  By Thursday, I'm having full-on conversations with myself, and by Friday all I can think about is escape.

What could have convinced me to stay home and miss the freedom of the flea market, then?  Money, that's what.  A few days ago, Steve's boss mentioned that he had bought a summer home with a lot of big, empty walls.  He and his wife had been thinking about getting some art for it, and they were leaning towards landscape photographs of Western Canada to remind them of home.

It came up that that's what I do, and he said he'd like to see my portfolio.  Yikes.  I'm a little anxious.  It's nerve-wracking to give your work to someone.  You question whether your stuff is good enough, whether they're going to like it, whether you'll ever be able to make a living at it.

Hopefully they like it.  It'd be a huge boost to my ego to make a sale.  I'm trying a new portfolio format- presenting it on an iPad rather than a traditional portfolio.  I'll let you know how it goes, and how the iPad worked.  But, for now I just wait.

Until I hear back from them, I'm going to plan my escape from the house.  Maybe Steve will take a drive out to the mountains with me so we can watch the sun set.  It's a pretty amazing view and anytime you can get a photo like this, you know it was worth the trip.  Hey, if you're lucky, you might even get to see it in a year or so!

Have a great day (and wish me luck!)  :)

Love,
Hearts & Photos

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